Mobile Phone Rules for my Tweener
So here is the contract we put in place with the 10 year old regarding her mobile phone. I’m going to get her to sign it, now that I’m typing it up.
1. It’s my phone (and Daddy’s phone), too. She gets to use it as a privilege. We are able to look at it and read texts and see call history at any time.
2. The phone is a privilege. If she can’t keep her grades up or doesn’t do her chores, the phone gets put on the bench.
3. The phone doesn’t go to school. Yet. I’m sure this will change in middle school.
4. Tracking. If she can’t take care of it or keep track of it, we’ll get rid of it.
5. Etiquette. It must be learned. If not followed, the phone gets a time out.
- Learn how to speak properly and respectfully on the phone.
- No walking and texting. People don’t want you tripping over them at the store.
- No phone use at the dining table.
- Learn how and when it is appropriate to use the “silence” mode.
6. Time restrictions. There is no reason in the world to be at home and to be calling anybody (except parents) after 10pm. Phone gets burned if we find this one is violated.
7. Live within our means. Since the plan has unlimited texting, I’m not really worried about her going over plan. All the kids really want to do is text. But, she will need to review the bill with me and make sure we are staying within our plan for this privilege.
8. Ready to go! You must have it with you (charged and on) when you leave the house for just about any reason. (From my friend, Kevin!)
9. Answer me. When you don’t answer my (or dad’s) call, it gets whacked. (Also from my friend, Kevin!)
It’s pretty simple. She’s been great with it for the first week. I’m proud of her . She texts with her cousins and family a lot. It’s actually increased communications within the family.
Good luck and please let me know what you think! Am I missing anything here?
OK..I think I get it, sort of. I haven’t gotten my soon to be middle schooler a phone…yet. The last few days of her being on the home phone or my iphone with her friend for 2 hours at a time is really starting to get to me – maybe she does need her own phone. Here are my concerns: beyond homework and chores, what about doing something else besides talking on the phone? I know they lack a total sense of time or appropriateness, but do you need rules around how much time they can spend sitting on the couch texting and talking instead of playing with sibs or just being sociable with the people sitting next to you? And, if you need a rule like that are they really ready for a phone? Maybe it just stays off when she’s home. Of course, that does nothing for the amount of time she’s talking on the home phone…the vicious cycle begins!
Sarah
July 28, 2010
Sarah,
Thanks for commenting! I’d like others to chime in, as your daughter is one year older than mine. I would say that almost every answer to your above questions can be summed up with, “It depends on the kid.”
I know families who have TV time limits. We don’t have to. My sister-in-law has to, or her son would try to watch 13 hours a day. We work to create a culture focused on doing “stuff” so there’s little time for TV anyway. I know your house is similar.
Same kind of thing applies to the phone. I will say, however, that very little ‘talking’ is going on. It’s mostly texting. I realized that I wanted to be able to let her ride her bike across the neighborhood, just as I did as a kid. I realized, however, that I felt way more comfortable if I could get a quick text from her if something was wrong.
At this “tweener” age, learning to appropriately communicate is probalby part of the learning experience. I know I used to spend HOURS on the phone as a kid. I am sure you’re shocked. I wanted to communicate and be understood! Our girls are probably the same.
Whatever you decide, you’re an awesome mom and I am sure it will be thoughtful. I like the contract because there is no question about what the rules are. If you do a phone and do a contract, share with us!
julesmontgo
August 3, 2010